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Meeting My Inner Child
During EMDR therapy, I met my inner child. She is about 6, maybe 7 years old. She has greatly aided my inner healing to the point that my body aches and pains have subsided and I do not experience migraines anymore. I met her while seeking answers as to why I was not succeeding in life and why I was stuck.
Finding a Shadow
My inner child was able to find a shadow. The shadow contained all the fear, self doubt, worthlessness, anger, confusion, trust in herself and guilt that had been controlling her. It loomed over her much like you would expect a human looms over an ant. It was huge. She feared it and hid behind me when we got closer.
Reflection
After my EMDR session ended, I was instructed to connect with my inner child daily to check in and see how she was doing. Again she reminded me of the shadow and how she feared it. I comforted her and told her the shadow does not control her.
Fighting the Shadow
During my next EMDR session, my therapist suggesting seeing if my inner child was willing to stand up to the shadow or willing to discuss standing up to the shadow.
My inner child reflected for a moment. I grabbed her hand. She looked up at me and said “Are you ready?”
What ensued after was an epic show. She let the shadow consume her. The shadow swallowed her up. She started screaming inaudible things at the shadow which was now completely around her. She had no way out.
After some time, I began to see some movement. A glimpse of steel. As the fog began to clear, she appeared wearing a full suit of shiny metal armor and had a sword. She became a warrior.
She was still fighting the shadow, hacking at it and winning when I left my EMDR session. Later that day she showed me an image of herself standing atop the shadow victorious.
She had won!
The Aftermath
A few days after the fight, my inner child became drained. She felt lost. She spent her entirety in fear and was not sure how to exist without those emotions controlling her.
She began taking over the space that was left empty, you can read about that here.