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While in therapy I have learned several techniques for coping with anxiety and depression. While some of them may work better for you than others, when applied they can readily reduce the strength of your feelings.
Typically we have the same responses to triggers when they occur. We freeze, run or fight. Knowing that at our core we have an animal response to triggers can help you determine the best techniques to help you.
Music
Music is empowering. It can pump you up, make you sleepy or relax you. Music can also make you angry and bring up bad memories. Music that causes anxiety or makes your anxiety worse should be avoided. You may not know what types of music cause this for you and the process may be experimental. In the mean time if you are triggered by a musical piece, use the rest of the techniques listed here to help you.
There are several types of music that when my husband listens to them I would think he was mad. This caused me a great deal of anxiety. Now I understand that those songs do not have the same affect for him that they do for me.
Get Outside
Just relax in a hammock and take in the air. Do some gardening. Go to the beach. There are so many things you can do outside and sometimes just being outside can calm you. If you cannot get outside, look out the window or open it for some fresh air.
Exercise
Exercising can be great for your emotional state. Not only will endorphins be released but in time you will gain confidence if you begin losing weight. Finding motivation to exercise can be tricky if you suffer from low self esteem or have other issues blocking you from succeeding. In my case I am blocked from exercising by my desires to not live up to my mother’s standards for me while simultaneously feeling bad for not being “perfect.” It is a very complicated state to exist in.
Essential Oils
Essential oil blends can be very helpful in treating anxiety. I actually have a blend called liquid xanax and find that when anxiety strikes it does help calm me. There are so many blends and varieties that can really help with physical and mental ailments. The oil can be applied to the skin diluted with coconut oil, diffused or added to a piece of jewelry designed to hold full strength oil. There are even oils safe to use on babies but in a different dilution amount. Example clove oil is great for teething babies.
Breathing Techniques
Controlling your breath can actually slow down your neural responses so that next time you encounter a similar event you will actually react less. There are several other benefits you can read about on Psychology Today, including but not limited to memory improvements, blood pressure regulation, and improving your metabolism.
Not only does breathing calm your emotional response, it also can stop anxiety in its tracks. Breathing in the moment can break up energy and release it from your body.
Talk to an Ally
If you have a person you are close to that can help you get through a bout of anxiety, ask for help if you need it. I would warn on becoming dependent or codependent on that person to calm you down. Save it for emergencies when you are losing your own self control and need someone to reason with your brain for you.
Breaking the Thought Wave
Breaking the thought wave can be very beneficial as a distraction from whatever is causing you anxiety. It provides a quick remedy to deal with sudden onset anxiety.
Find any object you can see. Use this image of a coffee mug as an example.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What color is it?
What shape is it?
Are there words on it?
Use an adjective to describe it.
What is it used for?
Add in any other things you need to until you calm down. Describe several objects if you run out of ways to describe the original one you chose.
Find the Source
Anxiety is your psyche screaming to you for attention. It could be an inner child that needs something from you. I have several posts that relate to my inner children and the anxiety that they brought up when they desired to be heard. It could be a memory triggered by an event that occurred but you don’t know what that is or how it relates to the present. Either way it is telling you something much in the way the body tells you with pain that something is wrong.
Listen to it.
If you are not strong enough to let the feeling take you over and dig into it to find the root cause on your own then seek help from a therapist.
Most anxiety is related to a memory or an emotional response to a memory you can’t summon. When you grow up in a toxic environment you learn to suppress feelings and find unhealthy ways to deal with your problems. These coping mechanisms do not work in real life. You will worry when there is nothing to worry about because life has told you that you have to be vigilant.
Before I started EMDR, there were times that I would come home and my husband would be cleaning. I would instantly become anxious. I had no idea that this was because of my mother. My mother was very clean. She often would criticize my bedroom and keep my friends from coming over unless it was completely spotless. Now that I have resolved that part of me, I am much more relaxed and can take care of myself before the dishes without feeling guilty for doing something for myself first.
Remove Toxicity From Your Life
While difficult, removing people that cause you anxiety or are toxic from your life is a way to calm your anxiety. Typically, those with toxic upbringings tend to allow toxic people to remain in their lives, partly due to the desire to avoid conflict and partly because it is what you know and it is comfortable.
I removed several people from my life who were not treating me or my family with the respect we deserved. My mother, my aunt, my grandmother and a few friends. After realizing that my friends were also toxic for me breaking off the friendship was pretty difficult since it was a confrontation. While cowardly, I delivered the news via text message. I wish I had the strength then that I do now to face them and tell them my true feelings.
What Works For You?
Apart from the techniques I have listed here, experiment with self care. Take an art class, a dance class or pick up an instrument and learn to play it. Read a book. Sing. Get some clay. Go for a hike.
Find the thing that heals you.
