Please see the Disclaimer page for our policies regarding this post.
See my posts about the noise within and the confrontation from behind the wall for background information on this post.
Revealed
After some coaxing during an EMDR session, my teen inner child surfaced. She is roughly 17/18 years old. She appeared meek and dressed as my mother wished me to in high school, long hair and dresses. I remember the dress she is wearing vividly. It was the dress I wore in my senior photo, black with red flowers. After she appeared the anxiety that was present before dissipated. She wished to be heard and now that she had she was no longer screaming for attention.
Behind The Wall
My teen inner child showed me what was left behind the wall after it fell, a desolate forgotten city with maze like streets filled with black Victorian style houses. The gray sky was littered with black ominous clouds. Something larger was off in the distance but it was too far to discern.
She explained that the Victorian style was related to my mother. My mother’s style preference is from the Victorian era and our childhood home had a museum feel. I was not even allowed to sit on a certain couch unless we had company!
This place was built by her. No one had ever been inside before.
Beginning the Transformation
I asked if she would like to paint anything. She agreed to paint the sky and the clouds. Unlike my younger inner child, see her story here, she painted the sky colors you would expect instead of a gradient sunset like my younger self.
There were so many houses you could see them in every direction for what seemed like miles. She told me some were built to contain a piece of her that was not allowed to be seen so that she could be “perfect” for her mother. Other houses contained bad memories she wished to forget.
My teen inner child showed me an image of a grand home that she would like to build for herself.
After some time she decided that repainting the houses would not get rid of any of the bad or free the good. She began to dismantle them one at a time.
See my post here regarding what started to happen after she dismantled all the houses.