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This is something I have struggled with my entire life until now. EMDR has actually made this issue almost completely disappear. Crazy, but amazing!
General stress
Things like irritable bowel syndrome, acid reflux, indigestion and other digestive upsets can be caused by stress.
My childhood was filled with stress. I never knew when my mother would become unhappy or what would make her unhappy.
My aunt allowed her oldest son to physically abuse me. He also sexually abused me while I was in her care. When I informed her of the physical abuse, she ignored my pleas for help and told me to leave her alone. I can remember the feeling of fear as I walked back down to my basement where the kids were playing. I knew that I was powerless in that moment. See my other posts here and here regarding how she treated me.
The Accident
When I was a little older and living in another state from my aunt, she came to visit. During this visit, my mother still had to work, again she left me in my aunt’s care. Due to the stressful environment I was in, I ended up wetting myself.
I remember the layout of the bathroom clearly even though we have no pictures of it. My aunt decided to “teach me a lesson” and make me wash my clothes by hand in the bathtub while she stood over me with my cousin and watched me wash my dirty clothes. The washer and dryer were less than two feet away from the tub.
Apparently, bladder control can be learned and is not a medical malfunction of the body, at least according to my aunt.
Cows
Once when I was in high school, my mother walked past the bathroom I was using and informed me that I sounded like a “cow peeing on a rock.” I became very self conscious about using the bathroom within ear shot of her or anyone else after that.
Bible Camp
My mother sent me to a Christian summer camp for a week in 5th or 6th grade. Due to the issues I had with using public restrooms, let alone any restroom where someone could hear me, I got up well before anyone else and went to use the bathroom.
The rest of the girls got up and came into the bathroom while I was using it. They peered into the stall and made comments about the smell. We all poop. Why was my poop especially heinous? I will never know. Using public restrooms after that incident was something I avoided, especially for number two.
Healing
I have actually come a long way. I am able to use the bathroom like anyone else, no matter who is nearby. I still cannot believe that I have come so far and eradicated this irrational fear from my life.